Rules for Knitting with Confidence

1.      Gauge swatches really are important. And not just to use as coasters later….. They also come in handy when you run out of yarn or need yarn for a repair later. Bonus: they are good for checking gauge too!

2.      Mistakes happen! It’s OK. Sometimes it’s good to step away from a project for a time, then go back and determine what the mistake was. Sometimes it’s the knitter, sometimes it’s the pattern, and sometimes it is evil anti-knitting fairies who come mess up your knitting in the night. Hint: it’s usually number 3.

3.      You may not find the mistake until you are wearing the garment. At this point it is always “A part of the design”. Besides…. NO ONE WILL EVER SEE IT. Especially if they are not knitters. Even if they are knitters, chances are they will never notice. If they do, they are your best knitting friend or a complete jerk for pointing it out. Just think about that horrible mohair thing they knit last year and laugh quietly to yourself.

4.      Knit what you love. It’s easy to get caught up in knitting fads and trends. When a particular lace knitting book came out a few years ago I was obsessed along with all of my other knitting friends at the thought of fluffy airy knitted confections to wear with every outfit I owned. I struggled at knitting them only to realize that I HATE KNITTING THEM. This is not fun. You know what is fun? Making color work items with bizarre patterns like skulls and ravens. This is what I like, so this is what I knit. It’s OK not to go along with the crowd. This is a hobby. You’re supposed to like it. If you hate it, it’s just not worth your time.

5.      In keeping with #4, it’s OK to frog a thing you hate! We all have that horrible project lurking in the depths of our stash. The Project Who Shall Not Be Named. It was a great pattern in bad yarn, or a bad pattern in fantastic yarn, or sometimes it’s just something that no one in their right mind would ever love. Like the puke green angora hat that makes you look like a chia pet. Let it go. Rip it out. If you still love the yarn, use it for something else. It’s OK to realize that a project is just not salvageable and it’s time to let go. Life is too short for bad knitting.

6.      It’s just sticks and string. We all have an inner perfectionist who wants us to whip out perfect knitwear with the greatest ease and a minimum of pattern reading. When we do make errors, we tend to be really hard on ourselves. We’ll tell ourselves that we are no good at it, it’s too hard for us, or the world is about to collapse on itself and become some sort of fiery black hole of doom.…   Relax. It’s just sticks and string. You’ll get there. Maybe on your own, maybe with help, maybe perfect, or maybe a little wonky, but you will get there. And won’t you feel smart when you do?

Finally, just a word of advice. I often hear people say, "Oh I'm not a very good knitter, I just knit *Insert item here*". This doesn't make you a bad knitter. It is exactly what MAKES you a knitter. You know who “bad knitters” are? People who don’t knit! Revel in your talent. You are a KNITTER

You may have noticed that I have been missing lately...

Here are some reasons why:

• The boy had to have an additional surgery to remove a pin in his leg in order to speed the healing process. I suggested amputation. I was told that we should at least try to look like we are encouraging healing before me maim the child for sport. Disappointing. His doctor has mentioned that his healing has picked up considerably and we will now have no good excuse for recreational amputations. Doubly disappointing. 

• The final weeks of school were a bit more intense than I recall them being. Really sad since there were no finals, just a great deal of papers due. Normally I can come up with many, many pages of BS without even thinking about it. This semester took all of the BS out of me. Hence no blog posts. I was just an empty, empty shell. 

• Directly after school ended, my family came for a visit. Three weeks of a visit. It was delightful, but at the same time, very long. I am currently suffering from a rare form of post-traumatic stress that involves me waking up in the morning and hoping that there will be someone on my kitchen to make me some raisin toast. This is what I find instead: 

This is a lonely toaster. Bereft of raisin toast. TOASTER!! MAKE ME RAISIN TOAST!!! Nope, still nothing. 

• During the third week of that visit my husband and daughter were also home. This means that there were a total of 6 adults in 1200 square feet of townhouse with only 2 toilets. Even worse, two of these adults were my husband and daughter who had not spent time together for a year. There was constant beating upon, farting upon and hollering at one another in the manner of toddlers. It's a wonder that I haven't developed some sort of drug problem. 

It's like a Christmas bomb exploded in my living room.

• Prior to all of the above trauma beginning, I was lazy. So there. What are you going to do about it?? Nothing, that's what.